You may already have seen on my bath page, that I do untold work for charity, well a lot of my very close followers know that I also do a lot of voluntary work at a community farm in Gateshead. It's important for someone with my array of showbiz talents and comedy gags to put something back into society, plus a lot of my close friends and family are often unable to spend too much quality time with me, as they are usually busy doing something else. The farm also has a great social life, with loads of nights out, which Little Marc always gets invited to, but they usually clash with my hectic social life, or more often they always forget to ask me until after the event.  
  Last year they invited Birds of a Feather Star, Lesley Joseph, to open the event - she was the one in the series that liked going all the way with men - but relax all my female fans, I DIDN'T go all the way with her as I never mix romance with my business life, plus her minder said "Get lost you nerd, some kids want their photos taken with Lesley, off Birds of a Feather, as well." I was about to do some potentially lethal tae-kwon-do on him(which I am expert at), but didn't want to spoil the atmosphere of the day.

  Little Marc also likes the farm, particularly the horse riding, here he is with his showbiz pal Tattoo, off Fantasy Island. They had met when Tattoo was opening the new Netto on Gateshead High Street.
  Tattoo also appeared in one of the James Bond films, and as you can imagine lots of my fans have been pleading with me recently to take over as Bond when Pierce Brosnan retires. I haven't completely ruled out the idea, although I'm currently waiting for a reply from Jim'll Fix It to see if he can secure me the lead in Police Academy 14, but failing that could he sort out a trip round the factory where they make Star Bars.
  Star Bars are one of my favourite chocolate bars, but don't worry about my teeth, I promise myself every day, that if I ever win £20,000, I will spend half on Star Bars, and half on toothpaste.