There are a lot of very important close friends in my life, and at least one of them lives abroad. It is my Bavarian penpal Franz, whose friendship is amazingly one of my longest. Unbelievably, we've kept in touch since the mid 1990's.
 You would think we were twins separated at birth, as we have so much in common, although I do have to keep reminding Franz that I'm 35% funnier than him, an inch taller, have a bigger beer mat collection, and can recite more Grange Hill characters (including Pogo Patterson, Gripper Stebson, Gonch Gardener, Zammo and his girlfriend) - although to be fair Franz is more fluent in German than me.
 We met through the Smash Hits penpal page, under the Right Said Fred fans section. A close bond was soon formed, and Franz has been to visit me 4 times since then - he usually ties it in with a carpet convention that takes place down the road from me, as Franz is a junior carpet inspector.

 Last time Franz came to Gateshead, he brought his German girlfriend Greta with him. Here you can see we arranged a Bavarian night at the church hall. Of course, Little Marc had to try and upstage everyone. There was a real mix of German music, picked by me including: Autobahn by Kraftwerk, The German National anthem, and the Theme tunes off both Auf Weidersen Pet and Dads Army. The night was a geat success with the crowd well into double figures. Greta confided in me that she had never had an evening quite like it - Franz could have warned her about my legendary party animal reputation. As I'm a very accomplished dancer, I had Greta up for the first thirty seconds of 'Hanging Tough' by New Kids on the Block, until she said I looked quite a sight in my lederhosen, and insisted that as my legs looked so distinct, I should stay 20 metres away from her at all times.